The Lie Read online

  I wondered if my father would care that I had herpes.

  chapter seven

  Brett was the first person I knew who had any kind of STD. It was kind of gross, I guess, but it was obviously a lot better than AIDS or syphilis or something like that. Brett actually kind of thought it was funny. I wasn’t prepared to go that far, but I was glad that he wasn’t taking it too hard.

  In the few days that followed Brett finding out he had herpes I was all consumed with thinking about Heather and the life I could have been living with her if she wasn’t such an enormous cunt. I thought about Erin a few times, too, and I even started to convince myself that she got what she deserved because if I had gotten back together with her she’d eventually have done the same thing to me that Heather did. I was pretty fucked up.

  I went over to Brett’s house the night after he told me about his herpes because he had claimed that his new STD wouldn’t slow him down one step in terms of getting laid. I didn’t really believe him, so he invited me over along with a few girls, which was a scenario I was pretty familiar with at that point. He invited everyone into the Jacuzzi. I didn’t get in. I know I wouldn’t have caught his herpes from the Jacuzzi, but it was still a little disgusting to me so I just sat on the side and made out with one of the chicks who came over. I think they were from Brookhaven or something. I forget how Brett even knew them. I want to say one of them had interned at his dad’s company or something and Brett had met her when he was up there talking to his dad. I don’t remember.

  Anyway, the point is, after everyone had a few beers in them Brett stood up in the Jacuzzi, pulled down his pants so his dick was completely exposed to these girls, and said, “Ladies, does my cock strike you as strange in any way?”

  They all said, “No.”

  He said, “Look closely.”

  One of them leaned in and he said, “Don’t get too close, though, unless you want to get herpes.”

  They all laughed and he said, “This isn’t a joke. I have herpes, girls, and I just want you to know that before you do anything with my dick tonight.”

  One of the girls said, “Really?”

  He said, “Yes, really.”

  One of the other girls said, “It doesn’t look like you have herpes, though.”

  Brett said, “That, my dipshit, is because I’m not experiencing an outbreak right now, which does minimize your chances of contracting the virus, but does not eliminate them. Are there any questions?”

  One of the girls said, “Does it taste different?” and then started sucking his cock right in front of everyone. He looked at me with one of those looks that basically said, “I told you it wouldn’t make a bit of fucking difference,” and he was right.

  I ended up fucking the girl I was making out with in his parents’ wine cellar, which I had never done. It was kind of weird. I actually wondered if Brett had ever done it in there.

  After I fucked her I drank a half bottle of scotch and wandered upstairs into a guest room to pass out, but instead I just lay awake thinking about the girls who were still fucking Brett. I wondered if they just didn’t care that they were putting themselves at risk of contracting herpes, or if they really thought they were okay because he wasn’t in the middle of an outbreak. Either way, it was pretty mind-blowing. I guessed that for somebody like Brett herpes really didn’t matter. His money was enough to make a girl basically do anything in order to catch his interest. But those girls…I didn’t feel sorry for them at all, but I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that if they got herpes, their lives were basically over. I knew they were all the types of girls who wanted to find rich husbands and never work again or they wouldn’t be fucking Brett, and if they got herpes they were done. No guy would ever fuck them again, they would be stuck going on herpes dating sites, and that would be their lives forever.

  And then the worst idea I’ve ever had in my life popped into my head, though at the time I thought it was the greatest. I got out of Brett’s guest bed and stumbled down to the Jacuzzi, where Brett was balls deep in the ass of the girl who had been sucking his dick in front of us an hour or so earlier.

  Brett said, “Hey, what’s up?” without slowing his pace. The girl didn’t say anything.

  I said, “I have a proposition for you.”

  Brett said, “What is it?”

  I said, “It’s private.”

  Brett said, “It’s not some gay shit, is it?”

  I said, “No. It just shouldn’t be discussed in mixed company.”

  Brett said, “Oh, hang on.”

  And I shit you not, almost on cue, Brett gave that girl three more hard thrusts, came in her ass, and then said, “There’s no toilet paper in the bathroom by the kitchen, so get a paper towel or something if you’re going to use the one by the living room, so you don’t drip my seed on the carpet while you’re walking.”

  And again I shit you not, she said, “Okay. Thanks.” Yes, she fucking thanked him for the tip about the paper towels.

  Anyway, once she left it was just me and Brett. The other girls must have been asleep somewhere inside.

  Brett said, “So what’s the deal?”

  I said, “I think I came up with an idea that you’re going to love.”

  Brett said, “I just want you to take a moment and drink this in. What was it, less than a year ago you were head over heels for some whore? And now you’re banging a different whore every night and you’re coming up with weird devious plans and shit. I like the new you. It scares me, but I like it. Shoot.”

  I said, “Okay, it involves Heather.”

  Brett said, “I’m not helping you get her back in any way, no matter how great your plan is.”

  I said, “I don’t want to get her back, I want to fucking destroy her.”

  Brett said, “As I said, it scares me, but I like it.”

  I said, “You know she’d probably love to date you and marry you and all of that shit, right?”

  Brett said, “Not specifically, I don’t think, but she’s just like every other whore on campus, sure.”

  I said, “I think maybe even specifically. There was a time after we first broke up that I thought she just went out with me so she could hang out with you.”

  Brett said, “What a fucking cunt.”

  I said, “I know. So here’s the deal. Whether it’s specific or not, she would do pretty much anything you said. I was thinking that it probably wouldn’t be that hard for you to start actually dating her, get her to fuck you when you have a massive outbreak, and give her herpes. She’d be done. No guy would ever want to fuck her again.”

  Brett said, “Except guys with herpes.”

  I said, “Right.”

  Brett said, “Shit, man, is that illegal, to not disclose that you have an STD to chicks before you fuck them?”

  I said, “I think only if the STD can kill them. It’s like manslaughter or attempted murder or something. But herpes just gives you red spots on your junk. I don’t think you have to tell anyone about that before you fuck them.”

  Brett said, “If that’s the case, I’m fucking in. It’s been a while since I felt like I had anything interesting to do. It’ll be like a fun little project. But before we do this, you have to be totally cool with me fucking her. I don’t want to do this and then you get all weird about me having fucked your ex-girlfriend and love of your life or some shit.”

  I said, “I wouldn’t have brought this up to you if I had cared, man. She’s fucking dead to me. I just want to see her ruined like she ruined me.”

  Brett said, “Okay, calm down, man. Don’t be so creepy about this. It’s going to be fun, not weird and psychopathic.”

  I said, “Okay. When should we start?”

  Brett said, “Tomorrow.”

  chapter eight

  I had just spent like two hours looking through pretty much every guy on my Facebook to see who was single. I was even looking at guys I went to high school with who didn’t even go to SMU. Some of them didn’t even go t
o college at all. I was seriously about as desperate as I’ve ever been in my life. And then my phone rang. The caller ID said it was Brett. I was like, what?

  So I answered it and Brett was like, “Heather?”

  I was like, “Yeah, how are you?”

  He was like, “This is Brett Keller.”

  I was like, “Yeah, I know, how are you?”

  He was like, “I’m fine. How are you?”

  I was like, “Doing pretty good I guess. What’s up? You guys throwing a party or something?”

  He was like, “We are actually, I think, next week, but that’s not why I’m calling.”

  I was like, “Oh, so what’s up then?”

  He was like, “Would you like to go out and get dinner sometime with me?”

  I didn’t know if he was asking me on a date or if it was some weird thing where like Kyle was going to be there, too, or what the deal was, but it was Brett Keller asking me out to dinner. There was pretty much no way I was going to say no to him.

  So I was like, “Yeah, I’d love to go to dinner with you.”

  He was like, “Great. I’ll pick you up at eight.”

  I was like, “Tonight?”

  He was like, “Yeah, if that’s okay.”

  I was like, “Yeah, that’s fine. See you then.”

  He was like, “See you then.”

  I wanted to run downstairs and be like, “Hey, everyone, I’m going on a date with Brett Keller.” It was kind of a big deal. I mean, there were plenty of girls who had fucked Brett or been to his house or whatever, but I don’t think I ever heard anyone talk about having gone on a date with him. But I didn’t even know if it was a date or anything yet, so I just kept it to myself and started looking for what I was going to wear and figuring out my hair and everything. I decided on a nice skirt that I got at Forever 21 and a tight Donna Karan shirt that made my boobs look as big as they possibly could be. I didn’t know if he was going to be taking me out somewhere like ultrafancy or just a normal place. Either way, I was pretty sure the outfit would be appropriate and make me look really good.

  I took a shower at about six-thirty and made sure to wash my vag like really good. I didn’t think I would have sex with him on the first date, necessarily, but I thought it was better to make sure I had the capability if I needed to. I did my makeup and got dressed and like right at eight the doorbell rang. I still hadn’t told anybody what was going on. Gina answered the door and I was listening to the whole thing from upstairs.

  She was like, “Brett, how’s it going?”

  He was like, “I’m here to pick up Heather.”

  She was like, “Really?”

  He was like, “Yes, is she home?”

  She was like, “Hang on, like let me see.”

  Then Gina came up into my room and saw that I was kind of dressed up and was like, “Are you going on a date with Brett Keller?”

  I was like, “What do you think?”

  She was like, “I think it looks like you’re going on a date with Brett Keller.”

  I was like, “Don’t wait up,” and went downstairs.

  Brett was fucking hot. I mean seriously fucking hot. He was wearing like a black blazer over a really nice shirt with pants that matched the blazer, and his shirt had the top three buttons undone, and his hair was kind of messy. He always had that look of like a guy who doesn’t even have to try because he just doesn’t care but he’s still really hot no matter how little effort he puts into it.

  He was like, “You ready?”

  I was like, “Yeah, where are we going?”

  He stuck his arm out for me to take it like it was some kind of old-school prom or something. It might seem corny, but it was actually kind of romantic.

  He was like, “That’s a surprise.”

  As he walked me out to his Land Rover I seriously knew that Gina was telling everybody in the house that I was going on a date with Brett Keller. It was awesome.

  On the ride to wherever he was taking me I was like, “So why’d you ask me out?”

  He was like, “If you want to know the truth I always thought you were really cool when you were dating Kyle, but I never made a move because he’s my best friend. You guys haven’t been an item for a while now and so I thought it would be okay to take you out.”

  I could seriously like not believe what I was hearing. Brett was basically saying that my whole plan to date Kyle so Brett would notice me actually worked. I was excited that Brett was taking me out, but I was also kind of pissed that he never made his move sooner. I mean, if he had done something like our freshman year, I would have never had to go through that stupid shit with Kyle and the fake ring.

  I was like, “You liked me freshman year?”

  He was like, “Like I said, I thought you seemed really cool and you’re obviously attractive.”

  Again, I was pretty much in shock. Brett Keller was telling me he thought I was attractive. I was like, “Oh, thanks.”

  He was like, “No problem.”

  Then I was like, “Does Kyle know we’re going out?”

  He was like, “Would you rather he know or not know?”

  I was like, “Why? Does he know already?”

  He was like, “He doesn’t know. I was going to tell him tonight…or tomorrow depending on how the date goes, but I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

  Um, okay, so Brett was basically saying he was going to try to fuck me after dinner or whatever, and he was also basically telling me he would lie to Kyle if I wanted him to. Seriously, it was like one of the best nights of my life. I didn’t know what I should tell him. I kind of liked the fact that I could get Brett to keep a secret from Kyle, but I also kind of wanted Kyle to know that I was going out with Brett. I figured that would seriously piss him off. But then I also thought Brett might be testing me or something. So I was like, “I think you should do whatever you want to. He’s your friend. If you want to tell him, go ahead.”

  He was like, “Okay.”

  We drove around a little more and then he pulled into the parking lot of Abacus, on McKinney. Seriously, like one of the best restaurants in Dallas. I had never been but I always wanted to go. When we walked in the door the guy was like, “Good evening, Mr. Keller. Would you like a table by the window or the bar?”

  Brett was like, “The window will be fine, thanks.”

  I was pretty sure going on a date with Brett was pretty much the same as going on a date with like a celebrity or something, at least in terms of how he was treated in this restaurant. Even after we sat down, the waiter was like at our table in less than a minute and also called Brett “Mr. Keller.” It was really cool to be with someone who was treated like that. It made him like a hundred times hotter to me.

  Brett ordered lobster for both of us and like a four-hundred-dollar bottle of wine. I don’t even really like lobster all that much but it was seriously the best lobster I’ve ever had. The whole night was just really incredible. We talked mainly about how our senior years were going and what we thought we were going to do after we graduated.

  I was like, “I’m supposed to start student-teaching next semester and then I guess I’ll try to get a teaching job at an elementary school somewhere when I graduate.”

  Brett was like, “It doesn’t sound like that’s what you want to do.”

  I was like, “Well, it’s what I’m majoring in, so I figured I might as well try to use it for something. What about you?”

  He was like, “I’m not sure. My father wants me to go to work for his company and ultimately take over for him when he retires in seven or eight years. It seems like that’s what’s been laid out for me since I was a kid, but I’m not real sure that’s what I want to do.”

  I was like, “What else would you do?”

  He was like, “Anything would be more interesting to me than that. Who knows?”

  That part of the conversation was kind of weird, I thought. I mean it wasn’t like I knew Brett like as well as Kyle or anything, but
I knew him pretty well just from hanging out with him over the years and I never even thought it might be a possibility for him to not run Keller Shipping. I wondered if that would mean that he wouldn’t make as much money or if his dad would like cut him out of the family money or something. That would seriously suck.

  After dinner we had another bottle of wine and I was pretty drunk. Brett paid the bill and as we were walking back out to his car he was like, “So do you want to come back to my house and maybe take a dip in the Jacuzzi?”

  I almost said yes. It would have been so easy to say yes, but as soon as he said the word “Jacuzzi” all I could hear in my head was like every girl I knew talking about how they got fucked in that Jacuzzi. That was like the place where Brett always fucked girls, and even as drunk as I was I knew that if I let him fuck me in that Jacuzzi I would just be another one of them to him. So I decided to take a pretty big risk. I was like, “I don’t think I can tonight. I actually have some stuff I need to study for so I should probably just go home.”

  I could tell he was pretty surprised and I hoped it wasn’t a bad kind of surprise that would make him never call me again or anything. I just didn’t want Brett to be like the next guy in a string of guys who just fucked me and then never talked to me again. I would have rather just not fucked him at all if that was going to be the case.

  He drove me home, and we did make out a little in his car before he walked me to the door, which I asked him to do mainly so everyone in my house could see us together. After he pulled away I remember wondering if I had been pretty much the first girl to ever tell him no.

  chapter nine

  I explained to Kyle that Heather was the first girl in recent memory to tell me no. He didn’t find it quite as amusing as I did. His lack of levity in those months was unsettling to me. He had, in a very short period of time, come to embody all of my own most misogynistic characteristics, without the benefit of tempering them with an overall carefree attitude. It was strange: Where I found amusement in the things we did to whores, it seemed he found nothing but a stronger desire to repeat the actions. He rarely smiled. Even when the absurdity of a situation was undeniable, such as forcing a whore to eat peanut butter off our cocks and then eat jelly out of her friend’s pussy, Kyle’s scowl and general discontent were ever-present.